Accepting my passage into “senior citizenship” is a gradual process. It’s been accelerated recently by back problems, prostate cancer, and the image in my mirror. Stuff that I was able to move in the past has grown mysteriously heavier. My formerly thick hair has thinned dramatically. Young friends make reference to my age in subtle but not unkind ways.
This passage brings back emotions of unease that I haven’t felt since junior high school. My body is changing in unpredictable ways that I can’t control. My mental image of myself is younger than my chronological age. Of course the difference is that this passage’s changes limit instead of expand my physical abilities.
I want to grow old gracefully. The growing old part is easy. The gracefully is more of a challenge. I’m looking for signposts in this region of my journey to help me develop the “graceful” part. I recently read an article by Fr. Patrick Howell SJ who is the rector of the Jesuit Community at Seattle University. The excerpt below has given me a lot to meditate on.
“Trusting in God doesn’t eradicate fear of death, but it shifts our focus to the graces received throughout our lives and to the faces of people who have loved us — no matter what. It may help us bring resolution to unfinished business and forgiveness for past injuries. It allows us to live the moment more fully and to accept the vicissitudes of life with grace and humor, despite the seeming indignities that advancing age may bring.” — Fr. Patrick Howell SJ
